My project is going to be a piece on Exposure, on a subject I've been ruminating on and meaning to write about for years now.
The trouble I'm finding is that I don't want to share it with anyone yet. Not even parts of it. My parents have the vaguest notion what I'm up to because I've had to ask them for some photos, but I have never explained even to them what I'm doing.
I haven't shown my drafts to my husband or my colleagues or any friends. And I most definitely haven't posted anything about it on the Moodle site.
What's up with this?
It's making me think about my process for writing this sort of thing. I find that the following are true:
- I like this sort of project (just as I loved creating my multigenre).
- I can't wait to share it...when it's ready.
- I don't want folks looking at it until I'm pretty close to done.
- When I'm pretty close to done, I may...may...reach out to someone for a bit of specific feedback.
- If I reach out to anyone, it's going to be a writerly friend or a family member.
- The thought of posting my "work-in-progress" to the forum is mortifying.
I am not sure why all of this is, especially as I understand and appreciate constructive feedback. I guess I just want it on my terms. Even with the multigenre assignment, I found it hard to share pieces of it early. I managed, but it wasn't a terribly helpful experience and I did it to meet the assignment requirement. I think these sort of projects through in broad strokes, gathering details, making lists, and not really drafting until somewhat late in the game. After a flurry of intense writing activity, I'll tinker here and there, tweaking this and rewriting that, until I'm satisfied.
I think I'm going to stick with that for this project. Because I'm finally getting to a topic I've been wanting to write about for some time, it feels really personal (though it isn't any sort of harrowing life story/memoir/drama). It also feels important. I'm looking forward to sharing it with the class and with my family...when I'm ready.
p.s. I'll meet the deadline. Deadines are no problem, but I won't be ready to share until then, I don't think. Hope that's not a problem for the course! If it is...well...I'll just go back to Wormser and Capella's creativity guideline #5: Don't worry about what should be because there is no should be!